by Katie Vyn

Being an ally doesn’t always mean making noise. Sometimes it means taking the time to get to know someone and their story and just listening. Recognizing that we don’t know. Understanding that we can’t speak for them and our words would never replace their voice. Because their story, their voice is unique. It creates ripples in the world that could never be replicated. Without them the world would never be the same. Do you believe that?

There’s this rush online to share stories and be vulnerable and there’s an instant gratification that’s fed like a bottomless pit. It’s brutal. It’s unkind. It’s fetishization. It’s exploitation. And in the midst of all of the smoke and the coal, there are diamonds being pressed. There’s truth being shared. We’re learning to be compassionate, empathetic individuals…we hope.

But how do you really be an ally in a storm like that? You slow down and listen. Center yourself, and understand who you are as a person and what you bring to the table. Sit back sometimes. Cultivate a desire for the truth. Be humble. Know yourself and whether or not your intentions are pure and just. If you don’t know yourself yet, find advocates that you can learn from and listen. Stop talking, unless you’re amplifying their voices. And listen more. Have the courage to talk to the person, if they’re open to a conversation, rather than trying to speak for them.

There are some books I’ve read on being an ally and confronting ableism in ourselves and society. They’re golden. I recommend delving into them and coming out on the other side a better person. Because I believe we all want to be better people. We want to be proud of who we are and what we stand for and we want a world that treats everyone well. Do you believe you can be part of a change? What ripples are you creating today?

Some of my fav authors and books:

Demystifying Disability: What to Know, What to Say, and How to be an Ally, by Emily Ladau

The Anti-Ableist Manifesto: Smashing Stereotypes, Forging Change, and Building a Disability-Inclusive World, by Tiffany Wu

Disability Visibility: First-Person Stories from the Twenty-First Century, edited by Alice Wong

What’s your experience with ally ship?

What do you look for in an ally?